A crippling insecurity showed up last week, and I decided it was time for it to leave my life forever.
Trevor asked me to do something, that to him, seemed FUN.
To me, I felt my throat close up, my body get tense and all I wanted to do was hide.
What did he ask me to do?
– TO SPRINT. To run on the beach with him. A playful race. –
The last time I ran was in mandatory track and field, of which was humiliating for me.
I was 13 and by far the HEAVIEST person in my class. I couldn’t even get halfway through the 100m.
I stopped at about 40m in, far behind everyone else, and walked off the side with about 300 other students taunting me. (Which was a daily occurrence)
After that I always had a note to get me out of any activity that would publicly humiliate me. I hid at gym class, I was excused from track.
I never ran again. EVER! ?
Until that day last week, I didn’t even realize that I was still carrying around that guilt, embarrassment and pain. The pain that still lingered from being the “FAT FREAK” who was too heavy to run.